03 Gone
by xoChantelly
Summary: Third installment of Sexy Single series. After months of their secret fling, both Buffy and Spike are feeling things they know they shouldn't. Their 'relationship' was deemed only sexual, and yet they've both fallen for each other.


Author's Notes:

So I've been sitting on this one for a while, and I can't remember if it is beta'd or not, but it if is, it was most likely beta'd by xaphania or Pagan Baby lol. So, I wrote this a long time ago and I found it in my hotmail, just waiting to be posted. So sorry for the wait. I've been slowly plugging away at my computer, hoping to get some more stuff to post. It's coming along slowly but surely, and soon I will have more to post. Thanks for being patient :)

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Whenever they made love, it was always silent. Nothing but the sound of their combined moans, their skin smacking together and the bed creaking would fill the room as the pleasured each other. Sometimes he relished it, not having the balls to open his mouth and let something spill from his lips that he couldn't take back. Other times he wanted to scream. To shake her by the shoulders and shout to the high heavens how much he loved her. But he couldn't. All he had, and might ever have, was this. Her body intimately connected with his as she writhed in pleasure.

He didn't know how much he could take, but he knew he'd always put up with it. He needed her like he needed air and he wasn't ready to give her up.

He watched as she moaned, her mouth making a perfect 'O' as she bounced on his cock, trying to find the release she needed. He pushed his hips up on her downfall, making his dick reach the deepest parts of her as he leaned forward to take one of her erect nipples into his mouth. He felt her clench her inner muscles around him as she twisted her hips, causing him to dig is fingers into her hips and groan. He loved when she did that.

He quickly flipped them over, covering her body with his as he continued to pump in and out of her, smirking as her squeal of surprise at the sudden change of position. When she instinctively wrapped her legs around him, he took one and placed it over his shoulder then thrust into her in one sure movement.

"Oh God," she breathed, motivating him to go quicker.

Using one hand to keep him balanced, he brought the other to her mouth, silently asking her to take a single, long finger into her mouth to moisten it. When she did, he reached around their bodies to her anus, gently probing the puckered hole before slowly inserting it, making Buffy buck up and meet his thrust.

Her walls started to flutter around him and he smiled. He always knew what she needed to give her that final push over the edge, sending her into oblivion. When her muscles clamped down around him and her delectable mouth opened to let out a moan of ecstasy, he couldn't hold back anymore. He felt his sac tighten around his balls and with one more thrust, he was falling over the edge with her, calling her name out as he emptied is load into her welcoming pussy.

He let go of her leg and rolled to the side, wrapping his arm around her as she moved to rest her head on his shoulder.

Buffy snuggled into his chest, taking a deep breath as she came down from her orgasm-induced high. "I'll never grow tired of that," she whispered, leaving a wet, open mouthed kiss on his collarbone. "You're the best lover ever."

_'Too bad thats all you think of me as. Just your lover. Nothing more, nothing less...'_ Spike thought, not able to stave off the pain that lanced through his heart. "Me either, luv," he replied and leaned to leave a kiss her forehead. If she wanted to be detached from feeling anything, so could he. "But I have to go, now. See ya, Buffy."

She felt him get off the bed, leaving the space he once filled cold and empty. "Why?" he whined, a pout curling her lips downward.

"Because... I... I just need to, alright?" he told her as she shimmied his black pants up his legs. "I'll call you in a couple of days. You can manage without me, right?" he smirked, curling his tungue up behind his upper teeth.

Buffy pouted further at the tone of his voice, leaving no question that he was being sarcastic and more than a little jerk-y. "What's the matter, Spike? Did I do something wrong?"

He finished pulling his shirt over his head then sighed, hating himself for making her feel like she'd done something wrong. In his mind, she _was_doing something wrong, but it wasn't like he could get her to stop doing it. He couldn't drop down on his knees and beg her to let him into her heart. He wasn't that big of a wanker, even though he desperately wanted her to. Over the months that they had started this secret fling, she had wormed her way into his heart and yet he stood still, never making it into Buffy's in return. It hurt him more than he'd like it to, considering he hadn't loved anyone since Drusilla had passed, but he couldn't help it. He was forever love's bitch, even if he was never loved in return.

"No, not at all," he said as he got back into the bed with her, pulling her back into his arms. "You were amazing, as always. I just have something important I have to do. I promise I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?"

She nodded her head, presenting him with a beaming smile before she leaned in to capture his lips in a chaste, good-bye kiss. He had a love/hate relationship with those kisses. Sometimes he felt they were the most... real. Like she'd actually miss him while he was gone. Like she'd think about _him_ and not the way his cock would fill her up when he fucked her. However, those kisses meant that he was leaving her side, returning to reality where Buffy wasn't his lover and he couldn't hold her whenever he wanted to. So very bittersweet, those kisses.

This was one of those times when he hated the good-bye kiss with a passion.

He grabbed the back of her neck, deepening the kiss and shoving aside the tenderness. He didn't want her to kiss him like she meant it, because it was always just pretend.

Buffy dragged herself to the shower, her muscles tired and sore from the sack-session she'd just spent with Spike. He always left her completely satisfied, and she knew that she would never find anyone else who'd make her feel so... complete.

"Too bad he doesn't feel the same way about you, Buffy..." she said into the empty bathroom as she turned the hot water on.

She felt her eyes start to water at that thought. She had fallen in love with Spike a while ago and she was tired of having to hide it. Hiding it from herself. Hiding it from the world. Hiding it from him. She wished she could just... tell him. It would take a load off her chest, that was for sure. She just didn't know how he would react. He was always so cold before he would leave her apartment, making her feel like she would never be more to him than just another girl he fucked.

Sometimes she wanted to scream at him, lash out at him for making her feel so much for him while giving nothing to her in return. Sometimes she wanted to end their little fling all together. Cut him off from her bed and from her life. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She needed him in any way that she could have him, and if that meant giving herself to him over and over, then so be it.

Maybe, if she tried hard enough, he just might love her back. Someday.

It had been three days since Spike had called her, and she was growing crazy with each hour that passed. She wanted to hear his voice, if only to know that he was alright. He had never went so long without calling her, especially if he told her he would, and it was freaking her out and upsetting her all at once. "Stupid Spike," she said as she glared at the phone.

What if he didn't want her anymore? What if something bad happened to him? What if she never talked him him again? She couldn't just drop him, cold turkey. He was in her system and she needed her fix. It wasn't just the sex that she needed, it was simply his presence. Knowing that he was right there beside her and she could reach out to touch him at any moment was what she craved every second that he was gone.

She didn't really know why they kept their relationship so secret. There was their age difference, which wasn't terribly bad. When Spike had found out that Angel was her boyfriend, he knew her real age instantly, despite her telling him she was twenty one. Angel was eighteen himself, so it wasn't a far leap. But still, Spike was only four years older than her, and in only a month, she would be legal for him to be with. No more jail-bait Buffy.

However, they still kept their... whatever was between them a secret.

She glanced at the phone again, willing it to ring. Why the _fuck_ wasn't he calling her? He said he'd call two days ago! He was so irritating! So frustrating and infuriating and... and...

Incredibly sexy, amazing, gorgeous and infuriating!

She so had to get out of the house.

With that decided, she ran to her room, quickly dressing in something appropriate for the Bronze and grabbed her purse, sparing one more look at the phone before leaving her apartment.

Spike watched her enter the all-ages dance club from the balcony, silently cursing under his breath. He was hoping to stay away from her, get her out of his system so he could move on and get over her. He didn't think he'd last as long as he already had, but seeing her there, dressed in red leather pants and a black halter that hugged every curve made it insanely hard. Not to mention his nether regions.

He was about to get up to go to her, caving in to his raging emotions and hormones, when he saw her put her hand in one of a frat boy pillock, letting him lead her off the dance floor and into the alley behind the Bronze.

That hurt.

He saw her throw her head back in laughter, probably at some lame joke the wanker had said, and it made him see red. All he could think was 'mine!' and "I'm gonna bloody kill him!'.

Quickly downing the last of his beer, he marched down the steps and in the direction she had went with the whelp.

Buffy laughed as Xander opened the door for her, gesturing her to go through the door first. "Ever the gentleman, Xander. You definitely haven't changed."

He chuckled as the door clicked behind them, finally letting them catch up in the quiet alley. "You know me, Liz. I don't like change. So how have you been lately?"

Buffy shrugged, wrapping her arms around her suddenly cold body. "You know, the usual. Everything is fine."

Xander watched as her lip quivered, signaling the beginning of a cry-fest. "Liar," he smirked then pulled her into a hug, wrapping his jacket around her to keep her warm. "What's wrong?"

"Well, its a really long story..."

"I've always got time for my favorite girl, Elizabeth. You know that."

She smiled as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Thanks Xan. I'm glad you're back. I was beginning to miss my annoying older brother."

"Stop trying to change the subject, Missy. Tell me what's wrong."

Taking a deep breath, she told him everything. From how their parents had disappeared on one of their latest art trips, to Spike. Once she started, she found she was unable to stop. She just kept spilling words out of her mouth as her tears fell.

"And now he hasn't called me for three days, and I don't know what to do. I'm just so confused and I miss him so fucking much," she said, nuzzling her cheek into his chest. "Please, let me know what I'm doing wrong so I can stop picking assholes for boyfriends?"

Xander pulled away from her, smiling softly as he wiped a tear away from her cheek. "I can tell you right now that it isn't you, okay? It's them," he leaned down, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "I know that-"

Suddenly, the back door of the Bronze was thrown open, revealing a pissed off Spike. He let the door shut behind him as he sauntered closer to the couple. "I'm sorry," he said with fake innocence as he watched Buffy pull away from the wanker. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Spike?" Buffy asked, incredulous. "What're you doing here?"

"You're Spike?" Xander asked, late to realize that the two blondes weren't paying attention to him anymore.

"I came here to grab a couple of beers before I went to see you," he lied. "Imagine my surprise when I see _my_ girl walk into the club, dressed to kill, I might add, only to walk right outside again with some bloody poofter she just met."

Buffy scoffed. "I seem to recall the same thing happening a several months ago, Spike."

"Excuse me-" Xander tried to cut in, only to be silence by Buffy's raised hand.

"And since when am I _your_ girl? You never told me this before, so excuse me if I'm a little confused."

Spike smirked, his tongue curling behind his teeth as he tucked his thumbs into his pants, framing his groin. "You've always been my girl, Buffy. Admit it."

"Buffy?" Xander asked, confusion clouding his face. "Isn't that grandma's dog's name?"

"Wow," she snorted, completely ignoring her brother. "Could you possibly get over yourself for a minute? I think I made it pretty clear that we weren't exclusive. Not like you wanted it differently."

"I think I'm just gonna go..." Xander said, only to be stopped by Spike stepping in his way.

"Now, now. Don't be so hasty. I'm sure Buffy will let us both have a go," he gave her a pointed look. "We just have to ask nicely."

Spike didn't have enough time to block Xander's fist before it crashed into his jaw, sending him stumbling back a couple of steps. Not missing a beat, Xander took a step towards the blond male, grabbing him by the lapels of his leather duster. "Don't you _ever_ talk about her like that, you-"

"Xander!" Buffy called, cutting of what he was about to say. "It's okay. There's been enough damage done tonight already. Drive me home?"

Xander's face softened at her heartbroken expression before turning steely again as he pushed Spike away. He went over to his sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Before he could lead her out of the alley, Buffy stopped in front of Spike, her expression turning into one of disgust. "Stay away from me, Spike. I never want to see you again."

"So," Spike heard Xander say. "Have you heard anything from mom or dad, lately?"

Catching on to what Xander was doing, Buffy shook her head. "Nope. _Our parents_ are still off doing what they do. You know them, _big bro_, always on the look out for new artwork."

Spike watched her walk away, feeling his heartbreak with each step she took. "Bugger," he whispered into the now empty alleyway.

**The End**

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End Notes:

Reviews to get my muse going? I'd greatly appreciate it! Hope you liked.


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